Borg spoke the truth when he said ‘resistance is futile’. In the martial arts, ’do not resist’ is an essential skill. This simple concept is so often misunderstood.
In a practical application, such as an attack, ’do not resist’ takes on a whole different meaning. Our immediate reaction is to resist the attack with returned force. While this is a seemingly appropriate response, it may be disastrous.
If your opponent is stronger or faster than you, you may be easily overtaken. By resisting you give your opponent control over your body by letting him connect with your structure. This gives your challenger all of the information on how to take, regain or overpower you easily. This is not necessary. By allowing your attacker to move in the direction he wants, you are giving yourself the opportunity to use his motion for a better outcome. While using his motion, it is easy to redirect and unbalance him with little or no effort. Once his balance is compromised, you can take advantage and keep yourself out of harm’s way.
Integrating the concept of do not resist in your everyday life can be quite helpful. Whether you use this concept in a physical or in a psychological way it works the exact same way.
A great example of this is when you have a different viewpoint from one of your friends or co-workers. Each of you are attempting to get the other to agree and do whatever each wants. As you present your viewpoint the other stops listening and things get heated and the resolution gets further from happening. If each of you would take a step back and “listen” it makes hearing what the other person is saying possible and leads you in the direction of figuring out a way to move forward.
Remember that the other person has feelings, wants and desires just like you. If we take the time to listen to one another and learn why we have our individual opinions and viewpoints, we will be on our way to redirecting the disagreement to a more positive outcome. The results are better relationships even when you need to have difficult conversions.
The formula: When you feel your blood pressure rising. Take a breath, step back, remember the other person has feeling, wants and desires just like you, look for the reason why they are acting in a certain manner and look for a solution that makes it a win for both sides.